Jennie Sandberg's Blog

Finding Refuge

Jennie Sandberg — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 04:51:42 +0000

It’s been a strange Spring. Even though it’s been a mild Spring -something about this Spring feels different to me. Not sure what it all means but I’ve also been having strange dreams – prophetic-like dreams about floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, a plague of bees – you name it – I’ve dreamt it. I am hoping that these dreams are probably nothing more than my psyche working stuff out. Because things have felt slightly out-of-sync for me this Spring, I’ve been noticing the need for more refuge in my life. Finding refuge is not always easy when you are a single mom. Sometimes you have to find refuge in whatever the moment brings which is not always what you want it to be. For me, it can be as simple as looking at something beautiful such as the face of a child at the check-out line. Appreciation, I notice, is its own form of refuge. Every day I try to practice some form of appreciation – noticing the good things in my life – such as flushing toilets, my daughter bringing me a cup of tea, my son asking me how my day was. Having a regular meditation practice can help. Taking a walk in the woods. Doing yoga. Peace is possible -no matter how bad things get and how crazy and chaotic the world can seem.

Learning to See

Jennie Sandberg — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 15:04:21 +0000

My Dad and I used to draw together when I was little. He was an architect by training in Thailand but became an engineer when he immigrated to the United States because I think it was harder to be a non-native speaker and be an architect than to be an engineer. We would spend hours drawing pictures from my favorite picture books – trying to copy line and form – I learned to train my eye to see from drawing with my Dad. I never pursued art formally until I was an adult but it was something that was always a part of me. My paintings started out representational. As most artists, you start by looking at every day objects. I can’t tell you how many apples I’ve painted over the course of my lifetime, but each one taught me something new. I’ve grown as an artist, I’ve really learned to look beyond line and form to really see what’s in front of me. Apples are not round little objects but they are dabs of color, shadow and light that are constantly changing – they are energetic expressions just like people. When I try to paint an object now – I try to sense the energy of that object and capture what I feel. Sensing energy is more than looking – you have to open yourself up to feel what is in front of you in that moment. An apple in one moment can be a totally different apple in another. People are kind of like that. I like to think that when I meet a friend – it is possible for me to “see” that person in a totally different way than I have before. I believe that transformation is possible. Just like breathing in new air and breathing out old air -we have the potential to transform at any minute. Learning to see requires that we let go of what we think is there and really sense the possibilities that are always unfolding. So, today I am part apple as I paint this apple – tomorrow -who knows?

The Weeping God

Jennie Sandberg — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 21:39:33 +0000

I was researching vessels for the Container Project I’m working on, (more about this in a future blog) and ran across a book called the Animated Earth: A Story of Peruvian Whistles and Transformation by Daniel Statnekov. In this autobiographical account that reads like a suspense novel, Daniel talks about the life-changing experience he has after blowing on a Peruvian whistle. Apparently, the sounds emitted from the whistles when blown upon are able to evoke an altered state of consciousness. This is experienced by some as a deep sense of peace, similar to the kind of peace you get after meditating or listening to Tibetan lama chants. The author himself experiences a powerful altered state that basically takes him on a life-transforming search to understand the origin and design of the vessels. Some believe that the whistles were “huaca” or an object that was holy or sacred. The original sense of the word huaca is ‘to weep’. Weeping is associated with one of the most celebrated Gods of ancient Peru – Virachocha, who was known as the “Weeping God”. Imagine a God being celebrated for the attribute of weeping? I find this fascinating. In our culture, weeping or crying is often seen as a weakness not a strength. Statnekov goes on to speculate that “a weeping God might represent an ideogram for absolute honesty of feeling and expression as weeping is the expressed idealization of the free flow of emotions-both joy and sorrow-that could have served as an example of integrity and wholeness”. Maybe the ancient Incas were on to something?

Learning to let go

Jennie Sandberg — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 20:22:40 +0000

I worked on a mask and flower pot in my pottery class today. The last time I took a pottery class, I was 5 months pregnant. By the end of the class, I could barely reach the wheel. My first pottery teacher taught me a lot about life and he didn’t even know it. I remember feeling like I was just about to fall off of a cliff – motherhood was looming and I was afraid. I felt like I was losing control of everything, my body, my life, my freedom – what would it all mean? Howard – my pottery teacher, was reassuring and an unlikely teacher, a man who had never been a father. He spent his nights in the pottery studio and his days cleaning other people’s homes to make ends meet. He said, “you’re not falling off a cliff – it’s going to be fine”. I found comfort in those words and in those last few free days before the birth of my first born son, I learned through making pottery the art of letting go. I had to let go of the end result because when working with clay, at any point, whether in throwing a piece, drying, glazing or firing, it could all be lost. Motherhood has turned out to be a lot like working with clay. But Howard was wrong, I did fall off of a cliff, but in the end, it has all been worth it.

It’s no wonder that this blog got started by accident, as most of the good things that have happened in my life were unplanned

Jennie Sandberg — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 22:56:33 +0000

Nia moves me

Several years ago, I stumbled upon my first Nia class by accident. I thought I was heading to a yoga class but ended up in a Nia class instead. The Nia Technique combines multiple forms of dance and various movement forms including yoga, tai chi, and martial arts. It was the beginning of a long journey of healing for me in which I learned that the body could heal without words. I remember in the early days, I would often go to class and dance in the back of the room hoping that no one would notice. Sometimes after doing a Nia routine, I found myself crying and knew that there was something about this thing called Nia – something was happening when I moved my arms, circled my hips, and learned to become connected to a body that I had long felt estranged from. Over the past 7 years, I have stayed with Nia. Nia has helped me navigate through a divorce, has taught me ways to find balance as a single-mom, has nurtured my creative spirit, and taught me to be at home in my body. While I have explored other forms of movement and have developed many practices that have sustained me over the years, Nia continues to be one of the best forms I know for developing body awareness.

I was searching for my friend’s blog and I must have hit the wrong button because now I have my own blog – oh well, I guess I’ll blog

Jennie Sandberg — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:52:01 +0000

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